Hi, this is Wayne again with a topic “A Level1Techs Christmas Story”.
Foreign foreign yeah yo, what’s up uh yeah, Mr Santa, so here we are we’re doing a remote Christmas. Of course, as you remember, the uh, the reindeer strip virus has forced us to go off-site so we’re doing remote Christmas. Today, we’re going to take a look at notable Tech. Ceo Christmas wishes. Okay, yeah we’ve been putting this off all season, sir. We wanted to get as much information as we could. You know it’s a category that changes rapidly we’re going to start with uh Santa we’re gon na start with Mr Elon Musk and uh. His Christmas wish is a constant, never-ending attention from the entire world and for everybody to like him. Well, I’ve got some supporting evidence here, Santa uh.
He did, as you know, really revolutionized space travel he’s doing really really good at putting people in space and, let’s not forget the entertainment value that has come from him buying Twitter but Santa. Let’S look at some of his detracting evidence and there’s a lot. Unfortunately, that might put him on the naughty list. This year he manipulated the stock market. He introduced the blue check stuff on Twitter that nobody likes uh. His cards have exploded in the past.
There was that awful shirtless picture that he uploaded that again was not fantastic. He praised the CCP and also, I think, Russia at one point um and he also kind of ruined Grimes, and he also didn’t spend any time with his kids. Well, he did set up starlink at the uh at the North Pole. I mean there’s it’s it’s really. The internet here is, it leaves a lot to be desired, but it’s better than it’s ever been. I don’t know all right well Center. What is your final ruling? We’Re gon na have to get a Christmas gift on the list, all right so for musk.
What do we do? Continued government subsidies and I guess everybody can think his jokes are funny, but only for one day pick a random day. It’S fine also. He gets an invisible jet, oh my God, that was that’s really going to make a big difference to him.
Santa very generous, very generous. As you know, we’ve got a lot of CEOs to go through Sam, I’m just going to keep going here. Next up, we’ve got Tim Cook, CEO of Apple you’re, familiar with him right uh. His Christmas wish it’s kind of a weird one.
He wants 30 of the entire world. Oh no! I’M sorry! I’M sorry! There was a correction here. He only wants 13 of the entire world that is his Christmas wish. Now Santa. I will ask you to recall the idfa anti-tracking settings that was Tim Cook. You know that was uh. That was pretty good and recently uh, oh satellite Emergency Services on the iPhone. That’S already saved a life Santa I mean that’s great, but again we kind of have some.
You know, negatives. That again could put him on the naughty list. Um there was all the stuff around restricting data in China with the protests.
He also has fought tooth and nail against right to repair. That’S true and he enabled stalkers with air tags. Yeah it’s yeah! That’S not great. We’Ve had a lot of people who got removed from the list because they were stocked with air tags. All right.
Why don’t? We do this. The United States they’re not going to require USB type-c, but the entire rest of the world is for the charging cable for the iPhones and everybody gets free turtlenecks. Oh, I think he’ll be satisfied with that. It’S not what he asked for, but it’s fair.
When will I get mine Santa? I think you could probably pick it up somewhere around the 27th. Everybody should be done recovering by then fantastic next up Santa we’ve got Lisa sue. The tech CEO, of course, of the AMD Corporation, doing quite well recently in years past.
She has just wished for growth for her company, but this year she’s diverged uh dramatically she’s wishing for uh Intel to be driven before her and to hear the Lamentations of their sales team, and then she added this is another really odd. One continued Shilling from certain YouTube channels for her products. You know a lot of people really like her hardware and specifically uh rdna3, very affordable and very powerful yeah, but on the affordable part, Zen 5 is kind of expensive. It’S true yeah.
There were a lot of Zen 5 products under the tree this year and it just about bankrupted us. I guess for this one all right: let’s let her Crush Intel and see them driven before that’s fine, to hear the Lamentations of their marketing team and we’ll keep giving the uh free YouTube. Shilling! That’S probably fine! Now we, you know it’s interesting. We go from a d directly to their competitor, Mr Jensen, Wang this Santa. Let me just I’m gon na warn you up front.
This is a very unorthodox Christmas wish um. He has wished for another pandemic, we’re already struggling with the reindeer flu yeah. That’S that’s! Dark! Yeah, that’s uh and then of course I mean the reason we might want to give him that. Oh I don’t I don’t have I don’t have papers for that. Did you did you get something? I thought I put something together, but maybe I couldn’t find anything uh. We’Re just gon na rest on that.
There’S a there’s a lot of bad, though there’s the cable fires. Rtx 4000 series is absurdly priced. Uh 12 gigabyte, 480s Moore’s Law is dead, so we’re going to charge you even more for marginally better products.
End quote that turned out not to be true. Oh I I think we’ve only got one option here. Uh we can give him additional warehouse space for all the unsold inventory, because he’s going to hang on to that for a while and how about some candy cane themed fire extinguishers.
Let’S start with the fire extinguishers and then also the gift certificate for the warehouse very useful Christmas, Santa very pragmatic. I really like that one now this is one you know in the past, we’ve had some some long lists for this gentleman, Mr Mark Zuckerberg and uh. Here another really unorthodox Christmas wish here Santa I mean this is within your power, but it might be stretching it.
He wants the entire world to actually like the metaverse. That is a tall ask even for him uh well uh, in his support he lists uh. He is a very uh, he wears sunscreen, religiously, that’s a fantastic everyone should be wearing sunscreen, he’s committed to skin health and he’s teaching influential children to also use it.
So you know, I think, that’s a lot and uh. He eats toast in a far more human-like manner than he drinks, water, which is a big step. If you remember last year, yeah, it’s a big step up.
You know I like to see sometimes when our CEOs show growth from year to year. Yeah. You know, I think that was the only time we’ve ever given water drinking lessons as a present, I’m glad that worked out for him, but for the bad and there is as always, a little bit of bad with these CEOs. He doesn’t know how much sunscreen is enough, sunscreen, so there’s that he ran a billion dollar company into the ground based on his insane Vision. That’S a big one continues to ruin lives with social media, and he also continues to spy on literally everything and everyone. We got him for that one. Last year too, I remember yeah. He didn’t grow that much. What do you think, sir Santa? Well, I mean you, listen you can’t.
You can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs right. Let’S uh, let’s do geriatric Facebook users they’re granted extended life to maintain a user base. So you know the old people that use Facebook they’ll just keep on living. That’S the only way. That’S going to happen.
Yeah, absolutely the metaverse avatars. They all get legs. They get legs for Christmas, that’s fantastic! What a magical gift for them! I don’t know if that’s going to bring it home in terms of people actually using the metaverse, but it gives it a fair shot of working.
Uh, we’ll also give him one percent more Humanity. Maybe he doesn’t even have to work for that, so we’re gon na take him to seven percent. Okay, all right, yeah, very uh, magnanimous yeah generous yeah. Well now this is a recent addition. This person was not on the list uh last year. They were not yet a notable CEO, but I think they have easily moved into that bracket.
We’Re going to talk about Sam bankman freed uh. His Christmas wish again A little unorthodox. He wants to not have any accidents now that his usefulness is at an end. Can I get a little like clarification on that? I’M not sure we’re on the same page uh. Well, let’s see here. Oh actually, I can’t say that on YouTube. Oh yeah, oh yeah. All our Zoom calls are being recorded too.
So that’s part of the new. You know visibility of the North Pole. You know so we can’t say that but uh, let’s just say that he would not like to see any of his guards wearing neckties um. Okay.
Okay, now uh in defense of Mr bankman freed, of course, he’s been in the news a lot lately, but he is an extremely extremely charitable man. Uh objection, your jolly that money was stolen, it was it was stolen. It was completely stolen, very stolen and sir, but he was so generous with it, but he stole billions from the crypto Bros. He also allegedly had drug orgies, oh yeah, that one’s gon na get picked up by the zoom call uh and he also meddled in elections and politics using his criminal Empire.
He definitely did that yeah. It was a lot of thieving. I mean it was thieving from crypto Bros, let’s be clear about that, but you know I think the only the only thing that makes sense here is about about a half a million ftt tokens uh and Christmas themed prison shoes. Oh that’ll keep him from getting the foot fungus, that’s fantastic, yeah! It’S a practical gift! Yeah! He can wear those in the shower and maybe it’ll work out for him.
Well, uh! Moving on uh Santa one, that’s been on the list for a long time. We’Ve got a lot of rulings on this gentleman uh. Mr Sundar pichai, CEO of the alphabet Corporation you’re, familiar with him and uh his Christmas wish is that everybody stopped using the m word. I’M gon na guess: that’s Monopoly.
Okay, yeah! That’S gon na be a tough one to Grant uh now you know he this year, he’s done a lot of interesting things with ar you have to admit very, very amazing what the company’s done with AI and uh. I think, like a couple of people have mentioned in their Christmas, wish that they, like the pixel phones, I think maybe five yeah, but that’s really, I mean that’s an improvement over the last pixel, which is probably still not as good as the pixel 2 pixels. Before that well – and there’s also, you know, as always a little more bad news. Uh Google search quality continues to really decline.
Uh the App Store security also continues to decline. He’S been attempting to destroy ad blocking which I mean we just can’t tolerate that, sir, not not on the internet speeds. We have here at the North Pole, uh and there’s been a ton of layoffs.
Yes, yeah the layoff, the layoffs were not really well handled. Let’S do a Christmas themed Monopoly board. How about that is it sort of The Best of Both Worlds, uh, the gag gift? I love it Santa will.
He even have any friends to play it with, though sir, oh God, no, oh, no heel Hawks, that’s uh! Well, that’ll still work and finally, Santa won again has been every year and uh boy. She does not have a great track record, but I think this is yours: she’s, going to turn it around uh Susan waljiki, CEO of YouTube and uh her Christmas wish. Ah, this is not a good Christmas wish. She wishes for total command and control of the narrative at all times, that’s impossible to Grant now remember that she did protect us from the horrors of misinformation and uh she well when it comes to the advertisers, she has served them tirelessly and done everything that they’ve Ever asked for, I would also add here Santa that she’s done the same for the CCP she’s very accommodating, but the there is a little bit of bad news, though uh she introduced the era of pure robot Overlord censorship, slightly problematic, uh, there’s also YouTube music, which Not a competitor and uh YouTube shorts, which again also not a competitor for the more popular Tick Tock a lot of people dislike those we’ve got the perfect thing.
I know exactly what we can do for her. We’Ll give her the ability to issue dmca strikes using only the power of thought, she’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and it’s like was that a dream, or did I just use my brain to Blink channels out of existence? She won’t know it’s incredible. That’S a stunning gift yeah! I would love that gift. Well, Santa uh we got a good start here. Looks like we’ve only got about uh 5 000 to go yeah yeah, it’s gon na be for a while, but uh.
You know that’s remote Christmas. So what would you say, remote Christmas? What is picking up on me? Damn you starlink .